Forbidden Memories

You can’t get all the people together in this world whom u really like and can stay together and forever the same… I guess and I think its doesn’t work.. Someone would leave.. Someone always leave.. You left me.. And now its my turn to leave you in the grave of the memories.. Its too difficult to say good byes.. And I really hate good byes..Its been ages I haven’t written not even tried.. But these depressing moment are the dark night taking over the sunlight in the dawn.

There are things we never want to let go of.. People whom we never want to leave behind but we have too..
I know I’m searching for something. Something so undefined.. That can’t be defined.. That it can be only be seen by the eyes of the blind even in the middle of the night.. I was that much blind in my love for you..!!

Taking a walk by myself with nobody to talk to, only music to listen to, and no phone to text make me feel good.                                                        This is how i’m now.. Don’t need anyone..!!

Under One Umbrella

I Never Told You

 You’ll never cum to know.You’ll never come to know how much you mean to me. We spent a little time together n i swear u’ve changed a lot about me more than anyone before u. You have left a wound dats not so easy to heal. You dont love me but for some crazy reason i do. Pardon the cliche but i cant stop thinking bout you. You’re so far but da fact is, you are right here in my mind n heart. Why do i feel such feelings for you when i know you don’t feel the same? Why do i hurt myself with thoughts of you? Why cant i forget you? I want to heal from this wound that you’ve left behind. Do you remember me? Is dat even a valid question? Why did you come in my life? Why were u being so nice?And now why are you not here with me anymore? I am content. I am not complaining. There are too many things in life that are beyond our understanding and for me, you are one of them. You r a puzzle. You confuse me. Why were u like dat then? n y r u like dis nw? Shud u feel guilty or shud i? Wer did it go wrong? i keep thinkin but i cant seem to find da answer. Do u think bout it now? Do u still remember da times v spent 2gether? Im sure da answer is ‘no’. Wer r u? R u happy? Was it true wat u all said? or wer dey all lies? I know im neva gonna find out. I know i’ll neva come to know coz may be dis is really da end of u n i. But with God’s mysterious n miraculous ways anything is possible. Perhaps i’ll see u again, perhaps i’ll talk to u again, perhaps i’ll look at u again, perhaps u’ll feel a little of wat im feelin nw, perhaps by God’s grace we’ll b able to 4give each other, perhaps v cn smile at each other again, perhaps i’ll dance wit u again, but whichever way it turns out i accept my fate heartily. Perhaps u’re much happier without me. So b happy n i’ll b happy. U r a dream.  A guy like me cudnt possibly feel, think or go thru sumthing like dis. But im still human n im vulnerable. I am strong n i know it. But der r a few times wen dat is not da case. I am losing myself. I am drowning… but no no no… i’m not gonna let myself get lost or drowned. This is my life n i need to make myself happy. I know i can neva depend on any1 for my happiness.

Above was my past situation..Still a few emotions of yours are attached in my darkest corner in ma heart..

But thinking of today’s situation is that i’m bright like a new born kid… Twinkling like a star…I think now i won’t sue Disney for portraying an image that everything happens good at the end..Happily ever after… I felt this because today i’m happy since i have reason to live and loving myself only and my friends.. It wud b stupid if i expect someone to give me happiness other than myself.Few of them are very special to my heart.

Well i always confuse myself whether to move on and go for another or be on the same track. Here’s the situation i feel like moving on even i try too..But i really don’t know i just stop..There are some forces which stops me which make me stay at the same place.May be i don’t wanna face another failure like the earlier..Its just when you give 100% you just get back only 2%. I can’t risk my heart again on the chop of the butcher so it can be broken again in pieces..I just run from loving anyone. May be another reason could be when there is so much love around me why cant i feel the same feeling as when i’m thinking of you or when i’m with you. You’ve turned my heart into ice, you’ve turned it into a stone. I hav so much love to give n i give it to everyone but why is it that love is not the same as the love i have for you. They may think i’m crazy. They wont believe it. They know i’m a happy guy n that i dont display emotions. I am no drama guy and i don’t throw tantrums. But whatever da case, i thank God wit all my heart for everything. The blessings r more than i can ever ask for. Now lets all be happy n accept the not so very gud things in our lives with all our hearts.

The paper burns, but the words fly away

Do you ever get that feeling where-You don’t wanna talk to anybody?You don’t wanna smile and you don’t want to fake being happy.But at the same time you don’t know exactly what’s wrong either. There isn’t a way to explain it to someone who doesn’t already understand. If you could want anything in the world it would be to be alone. At least when you’re alone no one will constantly ask you what is wrong and there isn’t anyone who won’t take ‘I don’t know for an answer. You feel the way you do just BECAUSE.You hope the feeling will pass soon and that you will be able to be yourself again, but until then all u can do is wait.

Escaping nights without you with shadows on the wall.My mind is running wild tryin hard not to fall.Cos I know i’ll never free my soul.It’s trapped between true love and being alone.When my eyes are closed the greatest story told..I woke and my dreams are shattered here on the floor..!!

The hurt began to fade and it was easier to just let go. At least I thought it was. But in every gal I met in the next few years, I found myself looking for you, and when the feelings got too strong I’d write you another letter. But I never sent them, in fear of what I might find. By then, you’d gone on with your life and I didn’t want to think about you loving someone else..!!

But today when I see you being with some else..I just can’t myself burning from inside.I never thought I’m ever going to see such phase of my life..I’m still fighting and I know one day I’m going to get over you.Still thought of doing some good for you..

Tried to be with you in every sense but atlast i knew you are not there with me.

You wanna know what the truth is? I still love her…and I probably will love her for a very long time…but I cant just be your buddy because as much as I enjoy the concept of being “just friends” in reality its a like keeping a dead dog for few hours and I’m just not willing to participate in it..so right now what I wanna do is just move on and get over you.

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